Recently out of a 10-year matrimony, I found myself truly naive about
hookup culture
and sex generally speaking. Appearing straight back, We see
many warning flags
into the man I dated for five several months after my personal divorce. Here are the indications we skipped that I happened to be internet dating a closet sex addict.

1. 
   He wished to have sex constantly.
   
   We were sex at the very least fourfold every single day. To start with I didn’t realize it actually was strange; I would already been hitched for a while before I dated him so I don’t understand what was actually a “normal” amount of intercourse. While I had been married, normal used to be a month, when we began online dating he, I just thought he had been actually, really keen on myself. I mean, I
   
   am
   
   fairly awesome.
2. 
   He was sorely timid.
   
   I know this doesn’t appear to be it fits, but he found all their girlfriends online, thus I thought he’d never had a one-night stand. I really could never visualize him picking up a woman in a bar. Works out, the guy came across everybody else on Craigslist, Tinder, or any other hookup programs. I am just perhaps not saying all shy guys tend to be closet gender addicts, but we
   
   am
   
   saying that getting timid does not tip it.
3. 
   He liked women in all sizes and shapes.
   
   In an ideal world, all guys could not worry about any woman’s problems. In reality, most of us have dated men who’d their own choices and dislikes. He’d none. At first I imagined it absolutely was empowering; the guy did actually
   accept myself personally
   . He would mention females the guy discovered attractive, and varied from rail-thin to obese, gothic to black hair, pale skin to dark epidermis. I never ever as soon as felt poor about any part of my own body in which he never ever helped me feel unappealing, but later, I experienced to ask yourself: who’s really keen on
   
   everybody else
   
   ?
4. 
   He previously some strange sexual activities inside the past.
   
   Just who am I to evaluate if he performed a few things that i’dnot have? Did not all of us have a past? In the beginning I was thrilled to own found some one very available. I intentionally failed to respond when he said towards time the guy met a man on Craigslist to-be about receiving conclusion of a glory hole. (It wasn’t gay, the guy explained, since the guy couldn’t understand guy. He saw straight porno while the man performed dental on him from behind some cardboard.) Subsequently there was the amount of time the guy took part in a threesome, and the time a woman came to their work so the guy could fist their. I must acknowledge I loved listening to his stories, but I happened to be just starting to be concerned that circumstances he’d carried out in their last could be circumstances he would want once more in his future.
5. 
   He viewed pornography… alot.
   
   From the our very own first talk about pornography. He was extremely surprised to know that I didn’t have trouble with it. How can I determine which he wasn’t permitted to watch porn? That could mean
   
   I
   
   was not permitted to see it, and
   We enjoyed porno
   . Unless it prevented him from attempting to end up being close with me, i did not see problematic. It never ever became a challenge; he always nevertheless wanted gender. It was not until as we separated that he admitted it was curbing him getting his work completed through the day.
6. 
   The guy possessed their own business.
   
   In the event that you consistently want to watch porn, masturbate, swipe on Tinder, or organize craigslist hookups, exactly what better day job getting rather than getting a employer? He could leave repeatedly during the day without anybody knowing—including me personally.
7. 
   He’d never tell me their “number.”
   
   I didn’t ask outright but we joked about this. He informed me however never ever let me know their quantity. We added upwards their previous girlfriends and thought that quantity. He chuckled and said, “Probably much more.” I figured he’d outdated much more ladies than I would heard about. I never guessed he’d installed because of so many arbitrary people.
8. 
   He was really, excellent at gender.
   
   I thought it had been because we had been very in beat mentally. The guy paid attention to my signs during intercourse like not one man ever endured. Because it looks like, he’d merely had plenty of exercise. Despite the reality i really couldn’t stay with him when I discovered he was cheating (with many people!), we’ll always remember him as most readily useful sex I ever endured.